The Epic Story of How We Shot Our First Movie

Last weekend was the bomb.

I spent the first few hours of the 27th year of my life detained in a police station. I had a tackle with the Border Patrol. I spent 20 hours working on a film (God, please let it be good!) and driving from Ramat Hasharon to the Good Samaritan, to Jerusalem, to Tel Aviv, to Ramat Gan to some place that only exists in dreams, to... yes, it’s possible I fell asleep on the way a time or two. Sue me. I found an unmarked Nabataean fort in the desert. I created a new religion based on fighting the Getreur inside every one of us... and became its first apostate. I ate a hamburger the size of my head at sunrise. Why? Because it’s the breakfast of champions. That’s why!

Listen now – this is my story.

It all began with a decision to shoot a short film for Israeli Storyteller, but got much, MUCH more than what we bargained for. Since criminal charges might be involved, I will replace the names of the participants with nicknames reflective of their personalities. Our heroes are thus:

Good Guys
The Director, a director
The Bon Vivant, an actor
The Caretaker, also an actor
The Curmudgeon, a producer
The Girl with No Name, an actress
Igor, a handyman, bringer of beer, mememaster, etc...

Bad Guys
Border Patrol, limiters of free movement, free will and free enterprise
Jerusalem Police, purveyors of injustice and oppression
God, a sadistic SOB with a mean sense of humor
Getruer, an evil inclination present in all

Ugly Guys
You
Yo mama

Ha!

This bottle is a major plot device (in film and real life)

The Preparation
It was decreed that my Levantine Fantasy project is in a dire need of a movie. Also, a movie was decreed to be a fun way to spend the weekend. Also, the weekend happened to be my birthday, which is always a good excuse to drag my friends into strange places to do strange things. Also, I have friends who never say no to anything, except to constructive and socially acceptable activities.

The Director and I created a script and a list of equipment, ignored it for two weeks, got utterly hysterical two days before the scheduled shooting, let the actors know their roles late in the night before the shooting, and got about half of the props we needed for the film, but twice the equipment, both in quality and in quantity. Seriously, the boomstick we got (a big microphone, not a comically misnamed shotgun) could hear a person breathing a few meters away and a person whispering thirty meters away. I’d never felt as alive as when it was on me. I’d never felt alive since we returned it to the warehouse.

On the morning before we left, the Director said that everything that could go wrong, would go wrong during the shooting. He was wrong. Many things that couldn’t go wrong still went wrong.

Waiting for the storm... and the latecomers!

The Trip
Since our car was stuffed to the point of looking bloated (like, cartoon level of bloated) with props, equipment, firewood and people, we were all too happy when our Igor suggested volunteering his car for the trip. We divided the people between cars and agreed to meet on a hill about 15 kilometers from Jerusalem about an hour before sunrise.

My car arrived more or less in time, without any incidents, and we immediately started breaking the firewood (by getting shirtless and hitting them with large rocks – the manly way) and setting the scene. The second car, however, started its adventure early. You see, since the people of the car (curses be upon them) didn’t find the hill I mentioned on the GPS (for a reason that will become clear later) they decided to punch in the nearest town... which was 120 kilometers away. Fortunately, I discovered their mistake only after they drove in the wrong direction for half an hour and directed them to our location manually.

En route, they entered every single Jewish or Palestinian town, not unlike a CRPG character clearing a dungeon, the dungeon in that case being my nerves. The coup de grace came when they, after spending almost three hours driving a distance of about 50 kilometers, had finally appeared over the horizon, racing the sun to make it in time. They reached our hill just as the sun kissed the mountains... and turned back.

You see, a person who will not be named, but at whom a very accusing finger will be pointed, had to pee. Being a civilized person, they needed a gas station. So they turned back and drove to a gas station about a ten minutes’ drive away.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

On the plus side, when they did arrive, it looked pretty cool...

Shooting #1
Because we missed the sun, we decided to stay until sunrise and do the light scenes then. The Director lives only 20 kilometers from the hill, so we could spend the night in his place.

The shooting actually went very well. I was in charge of sound, Igor of lightning and the Director of *gasp* direction and shooting. The Bon Vivant and the Caretaker are both experienced roleplayers so they stayed in-character even between scenes and actually made some very cool additions to the story as they lived it for the night. The Girl With no Name was great sport and grudgingly agreed to stay with us until morning. Plus, she looked positively radiant in her Clint Eastwood costume (at this point you wonder WTF) and proved to be perfect for her role.

Igor brought copious amounts of beer. Happy b-day wishes started pouring in at like 00:00:01. Even my mom called and made some remarks about me being an irresponsible idiot and whatnot. I mean, the night was going swell!

At about 2 AM I was drunk like a bear, we finished shooting the night scenes, and we were ready for our break. I let the Caretaker drive because the world kept doing these funny bouncing motions. I was a responsible, law-abiding citizen... and was going to pay the price for it.

Responsible, law-abiding citizen... yeah, right.

The Break
We came to the Director’s home, hungry like wolves, and started considering how to spend four hours until sunrise. His DVD wasn’t working, we didn’t have the presence of mind to play (or make coherent sentences) the Girl With No Name fell asleep, boots, hat and all in the Director’s room, cutting us from the computer. The Caretaker was snoring in a manner reminiscent of a jet engine used to crush rocks and was generally not a pretty thing to behold.

We decided to go out. Now, Jerusalem by Night is an awesome place. What’s less awesome are its entertainment and food prospects. Let’s face it; Jerusalem is no Tel Aviv, if anything is open on the weekend it’s too expensive, it sucks, or both. Darting from one place to another, we ran into the police.

The Bon Vivant had a joint and I had a knife.

Busted.

The Prison
Not really. We were only detained for questioning. While waiting for the investigator to come and investigate our sorry asses, we enjoyed the company of an utterly stoned dude who kept assaulting the police officers, at one point punching a hole through the wall with his head. There were also two black people who kept complaining about how ALL white people are racists. The irony of this statement, it seems, sadly went over their heads.

A curious thing I noticed was that most cops spoke Arabic, which probably implies that Israel is not as much an apartheid state as the Western media would like you to believe. When the cops weren’t paying attention, the Bon Vivant and I talked Russian. The Ethiopians, seeing no one listened to them, moved to Amharic. In short, it was a right proper Tower of Babel.

Eventually, the investigator graced us with his presence, asked some moronic questions, ignored our answers, gathered fingerprints, took our pictures and told us to bugger off, which we did.

On the plus side, we no longer had to worry about how to spend the time. Courtesy of the Jerusalem Police, we had a nice little detention to last us through the night.

Oh, and the pigs took my knife. They will be hearing from my (non-existent) lawyer soon.

Bloody pigs.

Good thing the cops didn't come earlier...

The Prison Break
As I said, getting arrested certainly helped us spend the night. However it did not feed us (fed us up, sure, fed on us, maybe, but not fed us.) Now, Jerusalem by Night, is the loneliest, darkest and sorriest place on the planet (consider this statement to replace the previous statement). Walking the streets, not having the faintest idea where we are, we felt like the rapture happened tonight and we and the cops were the only sinners left on earth. Oh well, at least we did some sweet, sweet sinning back in the day.

Eventually, as the sky began to brighten up, we found the car. But I was not yet ready to go back to finish shooting the film. The smell of hamburgers filled the air and I’d be damned if I wouldn’t start the first day of my 27th year chewing on an epic piece of meat.

It was a time for the breakfast of champions.

The day just begun and there was much more to go wrong, but back then, courageously taking on half a kilo of 100% beef hamburgers with freshly baked buns, a ton of vegetables, exotic sauces and a slab of cheese you could hide a murder tool inside, certainly made the morning feel brighter.

Don’t judge me. I bloody earned this epic hamburger.

Shooting #2
We returned to much jokes and laughter from the guys and drove forth to finish what we started. With the light of the day and some leisure to explore the area, we realized the hill was more than just a hill, but an ancient fort. So hooray for that. We were also almost arrested, again, this time by border patrol, because apparently we shot the film in A) Palestinian Territories (in retrospect, all the Arabic graffiti should have been a strong clue) and B) Closed military area.

However, because there is so much time God can spend tormenting a small group of generally harmless people, the Border Patrol let us go, telling us to coordinate such trips with the IDF next time. Trust me boys – there won’t be a next time.

Coincidentally, the Border Patrol were also Arabic speakers, leading me to suspect the media got this occupation story all wrong. But nevermind the politics, we have HIGH ART to discuss.

The day shooting, despite a mild hangover on some of the actors’ part, proved to be a great success. We improvised some glorious scenes, made some delightful landscape shots and even toured the ancient fort a bit, making a couple of modest archeological findings which sadly failed to release any ancient demons or antediluvian deities.

Guarding our discovery... a gateway to darkness!

The Return
I felt I was too tired to drive and so gave the steering wheel to the ever reliable Caretaker. I don’t remember much of the trip. One moment I was in Jerusalem, another in Arcadia, then I passed by Latroun, then I was a bird high in the sky, then the Caretaker told me, “get out of the car you bum, we’re home.”

Yeah, staying awake for three days has its perks.

Epilogue
Like after every birthday party or semi-surreal adventure, I woke up with a major headache the following day. But you know what? Despite the flint with the police, despite the loss of a valuable artifact, despite the cold, and the fatigue and the pain and constant, mind-numbing recital of memes, it was all worth it.

MEEP!

And what about the movie? If it comes out great, than yay, we all win. If it comes out mediocre, the experience of making it will be awesome instead.

This is it. The story of a weekend that was. Now if you feel like helping me to complete a cool book where much cooler characters experience much cooler adventures, feel free to donate a few bucks here. If not, like my man Conan says, to hell with you! :)

Magic of the Kabala #2

Wow, the previous post on kabala magic got almost ten times more hits than an average post. Thanks guys!

As previously stated, this series is part of my greater effort to push Hebrew mythology and folklore into gaming, challenging Greeks, Vikings, Celts and whatnot in the process. If you have an image of a hassidic rabbi struggling with a viking guy at the moment... you're awesome!


Three Blessed Charms
While not part of the seven virtues, these charms are also useful and powerful and are worthy of mentioning. They follow the same rules as virtues, but don’t require such strict purity to attempt and have lesser consequences of failure (usually simply a -2 luck penalty to all rolls for 1d6+1 days or a minor misfortune of the DM’s choice.)

I am what I am
Protect and save
Amen

The Charm of Augury (see below)
Take a new knife with a black hilt and make a circle on the ground of such a size so that you will be able to seat inside it with a boy or a girl who are younger than nine years and older than eight years, and anoint the child with oil mixed with soot scraped from a pan, and warn him not to look outside the blessed circle, and after that whisper in his right ear "Catcriel who Answers, may you show yourself to this boy and answer truly to what I ask” three times whisper this and then the child will see a strange man riding a white mule and say to the stranger three times “welcome in the name of God," and after that say "right before my eyes, may you get down from this mule," and after that ask your question. And after you found out what you wanted to know, tell the stranger "leave in peace" and if the boy didn’t see anything of that, he will repeat all the above mentioned three times, but if the stranger lied, the child will say "in the name of Sansiel, may you tell me the truth," and remember naught of this and that.
And do this only once for every cycle of the moon* lest you invoke the wrath of the Almighty’s great host of righteous angels.

* a lunar month (29 or 30 days).

This powerful charm summons an angel to answer truthfully and to the best of his knowledge to a single question asked by the kabalist. Note that not all angels are friendly and certainly none of them are omniscient, so the answer given is likely to be untrue or partial, depending on the angel. In any case, as long as the kabalist and the child remain within the circle, both are safe from any physical or magical attacks attempted by the summoned angel.

Roll Outcome
1          The angel is offended and attempts to harm the kabalist
2-10     The angel gives an incorrect answer
11-16   The angel gives a partial answer
17-19   The angel answer the question
20         The angel answers the question and gives a useful advice

"Please, do pass..."

The Charm of Protection (DC 13)
To bring in the thief, take a newly-bought axe and write on it this holy name, and hang it above your door and the thief will come and surely be destroyed.

As soon as someone with ill-intentions enters the kabalist’s home, the axe immediately comes to life, attacking the intruder with a +14 attack bonus for 2d8+14 points of damage for three rounds before becoming an inanimate object again. Only one door per home can be trapped; trying to trap more doors simply cancels the previous charms.
This charm can be used in conjunction with the Virtue of Success.

The Charm of Legacy (DC 14)
For the baby to be wise, let the woman’s son or husband write on her breasts; Asa on the right breast and Tma on the left breast, and the baby will suck wisdom, and grow in wisdom, and walk only the path of righteousness, and fear no evil.

This charm is used by kabalists who want to ensure they have proper heirs to inherit their places and lead their communities in justice in wisdom. A baby who enjoyed this charm will gain a +4 inherent bonus to all mental abilities and his alignment will be Lawful Good regardless of the circumstances of his childhood. Substituting "Asa and Tma" with "Koh and Zri" will instead enhance the child’s physical abilities, but this is rarely used since Kabalists don’t particularly value physical prowess.

"Asa and Tma," sadly on paper...

Using all four names will grant a +8 bonus to all abilities, but will also guarantee the child will grow to be Chaotic Evil and betray his family and faith when he reaches maturity. Such monstrous children often grow to be mighty but depraved warlords or insane, scheming sorcerers of unspeakable potency.

I hope you've enjoyed this post. See you soon with more awesome rituals, creatures and even an antediluvian mini-campaign...

Magic of the Kabala #1

A few years ago I was making my bread translating medieval tomes of Jewish mysticism into English. Many of the books I translated felt like excellent fantasy material. Below are some of these translations. Stuff written in italics is direct translation, everything else is my... update.

Translate?! I can barely read it!

The Awesome Power of the Explicit Name
Throughout their long history, the Jewish people had often been confronted with various threats, ranging from murderous pogroms and persecutions to supernatural assaults by evil spirits and antediluvian demons. Always the minority, and far from warlike, the Jews have developed a system of charms based on exploiting the immense power hidden in the explicit name of God (YHVH), also known as “The Great and Terrible Name.”
The charms presented below are mostly taken from the works of Rabbi Moshe ben Mordecai Zacuto of Venice (1625-1697), a poet and philosopher who also dabbled in kabalistic mysticism in his old age.
Because kabala is a tricky art at best, every charm has a chance to fail even if performed properly and with the best of intentions; whenever attempting to use a kabala charm, make a Wisdom knowledge check against the chram’s DC. Failure indicates the charm fizzled harmlessly, while a critical fumble bestows a curse (as if cast by a 20th level cleric) on the kabalist or inflicts him with some other kind of misfortune (chosen by the DM). In most cases, the kabalist will not know whether the charms worked or fizzled until it is too late. Where applicable, all charms have a save DC of 15 plus the kabalist’s Wisdom modifier.
The author does not recommend trying these charms in real life… just in case.

The Seven Virtues
The Seven Virtues are a collection of powerful charms given to Adam and Eve after they sinned before the LORD and were exiled from the Garden of Eden. The Holy, blessed be He, realizing that the fragile couple won’t survive in the harsh primordial environment into which they were cast, naked and unarmed, has created the Seven Virtues to insure the survival of humanity.
Upon finishing this wonderful tome, a massive book with sheets of crimson gold, letters of precious stones and covers of lustrous sapphire, He passed it to his most trusted servants, Raziel and Galizor, who delivered it to Adam and told him, “from these virtues you will know all that is destined to happen and will be able to accomplish whatever you want. But,” and the great angels’ features suddenly turned severe and terrible, “be wary, for it is consuming fire to abuse them; perform every virtue as ordained and you will succeed with great purity!”
The original tome given to the First Man was lost eons ago, but lesser versions of these charms are practiced by students of the mystic art of kabala to this very day. However, even the greatest scholars rarely choose to attempt these for fear of the consuming flame of God. Even these lesser virtues are extremely powerful and must be treated with caution and purity. Any of the following is considered impure and will result in the automatic failure of the charm and inflict a curse or some other kind of divine retribution on the kabalist;

• Touching a dead humanoid
• Eating tame food
• Straying from Lawful alignment
• Practicing any form of arcane magic or psionics
• Worshipping any beings save God
• Breaking or failing to perform a commandment (there are 613 of them!)

A right proper charm. Now all we have to do is skin a deer...

1. The Virtue of Kings (DC 13)
If you wish to go before a king or a ruler and have him do as you desire and to give you everything you want, take a miter on which a baby was born, and write on it these ten names and put it in your sash, and go with it before the king, the lord, or the government and he will undoubtedly give you your desire.

The Virtue of Kings grants a 2d4 temporary enhancement bonus to Charisma, adding the usual benefits to Charisma-based skill checks and other uses of the Charisma modifier. This bonus applies only to NPCs who are wealthier or more experienced than the kabalist and only if the request is just and sincere or works for the common good. So while asking for a bag of gold to help the community would work, suggesting the baron executed the kabalist’s rival would not (and probably cost the villain his own life).

2. The Virtue of Flying (DC 11)
For the Jumping of the Path, that is, to walk the path of a year in a single day or to cover the passage of a month in one hour, write these ten names on deerskin parchment and take a cane of four cubits, as the measure of a man, and cut the cane and insert the scroll inside it, and, during prayer, put on your face a handkerchief and ride on the cane and say this: “by the ten names which are written on the scroll which is inside this cane on which I ride, lead me from this place to place so-and-so,” and you will be there.
And be careful not to remove the handkerchief from your face before you reached your destination for then you will surely fall. And after you arrived to wherever you wanted to go, fest in reverence for three days and wash and purify your body and praise the LORD, for he is great and merciful.

The Virtue of Flying enables the kabalist to fly at the speed 50 miles per hour for as long as a day (12 hours) at a time, after which he must rest and purify himself before attempting the virtue again. During flight, the kabalist is extremely vulnerable because he must keep his face covered with a handkerchief, his arm holding the cane and his tongue repeating the prayer. If he fails to do so, the cane will lose its divine powers and the kabalist will plunge to his death.

3. The Virtue of Success (DC 5)
Wash and purify, and write these holy names on the newborn baby’s miter and on a forged silver flier and bury the miter and flier under the earth when the sun doesn’t rule, and in the morning remove them and hang them on the entrance to your shop or home and you will succeed in all of your endeavors.

This useful virtue grants the kabalist a +2 luck bonus to all non-combat rolls made inside his shop or home, as long as the kabalist deals fairly with his customers and treats his family kindly. Greedy kabalists who try to bless both their home and shop, suffer a
-4 luck penalty to all rolls as long as both fliers are in their places.

There is a lot of fun stuff you can do with the Explicit Name

4. The Virtue of Invisibility (DC 13**)
Take a twig, make a small cut in it, and write on a parchment made of a fallen deer’s carcass these excellent names and put the parchment inside the twig, and place it against your heart and walk in front of any man and he won’t be able to see you. But be warned; it is not proper to write it save during the month of Tamuz*.
* mid-June to mid-July.
** Wisdom check must be re-rolled for every minute of invisibility

This useful virtue has enabled many Rabbis to escape their persecutors without committing the sin of bloodshed. This works just like invisibility but is cancelled if used for theft, peeping, assassination or any other immoral purposes. In any case, the kabalist is able to see himself and can judge whether he is visible or not only by others’ reactions.
Also, the old manuscripts say that one should not stay invisible for more than ten minutes per day else he would disappear from the world completely. So far, no one has dared to test the truth of this dire warning.

5. The Virtue of Safety (DC 15)
To pacify the sea’s rage, take a new cauldron and write on it: “I, so-and-so, implore with the ten names of the fifth virtue that the lord of the sea, Zerukhael and the lords of the four winds pacify the sea from its rage and tumult and safeguard this ship from all evil until it comes to shore and let it be unharmed.” And shatter the cauldron and throw the shards to the four winds of the sea and reach your destination safely.

This powerful virtue is usually used by travelers who must travel to faraway lands. If properly performed, it guarantees good weather throughout the passage and automatically cancels any harmful encounter such as pirate raids or monster attacks.
The Virtue of Safety doesn’t work if there are more evil than good NPCs on the ship, instead turning the voyage into a nightmare of violent storms and murderous assaults until the good-to-evil balance is restored.

Ashtafa!

6. The Virtue of Commanding (DC 15)
Take a staff of the loz or ashira tree, and write on it these fabulous names. And if, while walking down the road, you see people who are mean to you or seek to do you harm, take the staff and strike the earth with it three time, and say each time “go your way” and they will go their way, and if you wish to hold them, say “stand” and they will stop, and write these names in great purity and use them not for evil lest you be swallowed by the earth.

This virtue is designed to protect the lone traveler from brigands and thugs. It affects anyone able to see and hear the kabalist and whose attitude is hostile. The first command causes the target/s (7 humanoids maximum) to walk away in a random direction for 2d4 minutes, while the second simply causes them to stand confused in their places, unable to decide what to do or where to go. Both commands can be avoided with a successful Will save (DC 20).
Any violence towards the target immediately ends the virtue’s effect and cracks the staff, rendering it useless.

7. The Virtue of Love (DC 17)
If you wish to be loved by all people and have them follow you because of the power of their love, take the born baby’s miter or a deer parchment that was worked by a pure man, and write on it these admirable words in purity and holiness. And after you have finished that, roll the parchment into a scroll and touch with it every man or woman and immediately they will follow you.

This virtue is the most morally ambiguous and as such is the least used by honest Rabbis and the most abused by corrupt kabalists. It causes anyone who doesn’t hold a specific grudge against the kabalist to become helpful for 24 hours, after which his attitude returns to what it was before the virtue’s application. Those affected by the virtue are not aware of the fact that they are being manipulated and attribute their sudden helpfulness to genuine respect or attraction, depending on their gender.

Need more kabala rituals for your game? Find them here!

Seventeen Stories. All Told.

I'm taking a break from my cheerful suicide post series, to say a few words about a very awesome fantasy anthology I had the honor to be included in - Dreams in Shadow.

As I stated earlier this year, I've decided to stop freelancing for other companies and to try to make my own fortune in the world (or any other world that will have me). The first step in this direction was Gangworld, which a gaming supplement, and the second step is Dreams in Shadow, an anthology of historical, urban and second world fantasy fiction from a group of other game designers and writers who, like me, decided to go rogue. The name is Monumental Works Group, and it's got some really, really awesome people in it.

We surprised the cover in the shower. Poor cover...

I have contributed two stories to this anthology:
"Juan and Noli'quanava" is a low-fantasy, high-drama story inspired by Christopher Columbus accounts of the New World and an old Jewish ballad. Spanish Conquistadors capture an all-female Native American tribe. One native has a plan, but will it work?
"Nice Girl in Sodom" is part of my story cycle of fantasy adventures in modern Israel. It's got biblical giants, gangsters, a cheerful tourist with a secret, an artifact of unimaginable power, and holes that lie in hiding, waiting for the right time to jump right under you! And the best part - it's all true!

There are fifteen other stories - Greek and Persian fantasy, magic hidden in the slums of the US, an obscene and awesome bland of sci-fi and fantasy, and other stuff. I'm really happy to be part of this.

That is all, god speed, merry gentlemen!

Freelancing in a free world

Except for being a storyteller, I'm also a game writer. I write fiction too, but for me it's just an extension of my game writing. Writing fiction is the ultimate solo gaming experience. You should try it and none of this "I don't have writing skills" nonsense please. If you can write, you can write. Period.

Now, since I started writing in 2005, I'd quite a few things published. Because I plan to take a break from freelancing soon, and focus on my own ideas, I thought it would be nice to go over my "career" and see what I'd produced in the last six years.

Because I think every article should have pictures, I'm attaching a couple of "fan art" pictures good people sent me over the years. Want to see more? Draw some! :)

An Israeli artist's fan art for one of my stories.  Expect to see a lot
more of him soon, because he's now on board the rat ship! Also, he's awesome.

RPGs:
Gunmetal Games, "From Gaza with Love", 2014
A fun little cyberpunk adventure about spies, gangsters and tribesmen in the radiated space between future Tel Aviv and future Gaza.

Gunmetal Games, Interface Zero 2.0, 2014
I was tasked with writing the chapters about future Russia and the future Middle East. Guess why.

Mongoose Publishing, Traveller: Campaign Guide, 2012
The largest and most difficult project I've ever worked on. Basically this book is full of what my players love best - random tables. Seriously, it's got a random table for just about anything, you should give it a try, it's really fun! :)

Postmortem Studios, Gangworld, 2011
An ongoing series of dark and gritty gangs for fantasy settings. The series started with the question: what would have happened if Oz was filmed on Middle Earth...

Frog God Games, The Hollow Mountain, 2011
My first proper old-school dungeon crawl. It has a crazy tree, flowers that kill and elves who don't sing and dance... my ex thought it was my best adventure, but then again she also dated me, so you can't really trust her tastes... :P

Wizards of the Coast, D&D Tutorials, “D&D Kids: Girls at the Table”, 2011
This is the article that started my persecution by the rabid fanatics who soil the good name of feminism with their mindless aggression. Thankfully, I have friends as well as enemies so this article, as well as all my other DNDkids articles, can now be found on Geekcentricity. God bless them! :)

Wizards of the Coast, D&D Tutorials, “D&D Kids: Campaign Setting”, 2011
This article has the highest ideas-to-words ratio ever. Guaranteed!

Mongoose Publishing, RuneQuest Compendium 1, "Alternative Elementals," 2011
I've made it to Traveller's best, now it's RuneQuest's turn. The article included in this compendium is a collection of elementals based on opposing emotions and opposing physics terms.

Wizards of the Coast, "Leopard Cub Against the Poachers," 2011
A fun little solo adventure I originally wrote as a gift for my nephew. This is my only work for Wizards that survived the 3e purge, being system neutral. The name more or less sums the plot... but there is a twist!

Wizards of the Coast, D&D Tutorials, “D&D Kids: Punishment”, 2011
My first ever work to ever cause internet wide flame wars and debates. This was my first brush with the roaming pack of internet trolls who prey on men in the night. The real war, however, would start a few months later...

Wizards of the Coast, D&D Tutorials, “D&D Kids: Rewards”, 2011
The third article in the series - full of things that make kids smile and DMs sigh...

Mongoose Publishing, Traveller Compendium 1, "Gods of the Space Age," 2010
"This first volume of the Traveller Compendiums collates all the most popular articles that have appeared in Signs & Portents over the years..." Wow, that's flattering :)

Wizards of the Coast, D&D Tutorials, “D&D Kids: Combat Encounters”, 2011
The second in a series of articles about my work with children. This time we tackle (and hopefully drop) the issue of combat encounters and character death.

Mongoose Publishing, Traveller 9: Robots, 2010
This is the first book I wrote alone, cover to cover. I'm quite proud of it. Also, I learned a great deal about robotics, both real and imagined, while researching for it.

Wizards of the Coast, D&D Tutorials, “D&D Kids: Character Generation”, 2011
The first in a series of articles about my work with children. I really enjoy writing those (to this very day....)

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #79, "Traveller: The Xenologist", 2010
Dr. Dolittle in space!

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #77, "Conan: The Bloodling", 2010
To quote a great editor of yore, "a murderous baby corpse made out of blood is both sick and awesome!"

Kobold Quarterly, Monday Monster, "Razor Treant," 2010
Death of a thousand cuts anyone? I mean, this is a nasty, nasty tree!

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #78, "Traveller - Gods of the Space Age,", 2010
My first ever Traveller article and, in my opinion, one of the best articles I ever wrote.

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #77, "Conan: Piercing Magic", 2010
This article deals with the magic of piercing. Will you clamp your nipples and pierce your lips for great power? If the answer is yes, then go forth and read it. It's free.

Zombie Sky Press, Rituals from the Spaces Beyond: Spirit Magic, "Slavic Magic", 2010
I wrote the chapter about Russian spirits and rituals. This book has gorgeous art and excellent contents from my esteemed colleagues Clinton Boomer and Scott Gable who wrote the chapters on Voodoo and Lovecraftian rituals. If you want to diversify your game, this is simply a MUST!

Kobold Quarterly online, Friday Funny, "A Coward's Life, pt. 2" , 2009
Kobold Quarterly online, Friday Funny, "A Coward's Life, pt. 1" , 2009
Probably the most fun article I ever wrote! Perfect for those who place survival above courage. Of all my works, this one is the most appropriate for games with kids.

Mongoose Publishing, Adventures in the Hyborian Age, "Kingdom of Apes", 2009
I just love the cover of this one! It's so Howard! The adventure itself is not my best work, although I am quite proud of some of the evil monkeys in it. EVIL MONKEYS RULE!

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #62, "Fantasy Regimes", 2008
Probably my most imaginative article to date... I consider it more of a literary work than a game. Basically for what-if regimes; a dwarf collective, an elf patriarchy and a human direct theocracy.

Wizards of The Coast, Dragon Magazine Issue #363, "Oligarchy of Mavet Rav", 2008
Best article I ever wrote. Wizards really squeezed the best out of me. Don't worry though, I have some best left in me yet! Wizards have removed the article because it was written for 3e, so I uploaded it on my blog (with the original art) for your pleasure and entertainment.

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #53, "Conan: The Temple of Tears", 2008
My attempt at writing a highly emotional and melodramatic adventure in the world of Conan. Did it work? You tell me!

Mongoose Publishing, Signs & Portents Issue #48, "RuneQuest: Alternative Elementals", 2007
I think creating these monsters has made me slightly less sane, and I didn't even mention Cthulhu, just mixed science and magic... BOOM!

RPG Objects, Legends of the Samurai: the Escape from the Haunted Lands, 2007
My first sojourn into the land of Japanese adventures, I had a great time researching and writing this adventure. I think I also managed to design some really adorable ghosts for this one.

Paizo Publishing, Dungeon Magazine Issue #129, "Murder in Oakbridge", 2005
Wow, my first publication. It's a dark and very cerebral investigative adventure that can be played from prologue to epilogue without a single combat encounter.

This one was drawn by a girl from Virginia whose name I suspect is Anna. This is her character meeting  the villain from Murder in Oakbridge.  She (Anna, not the villain) wrote a little fanfic in which my bleak adventure had a happy ending.

Kabbalah:
Ever Burning Light, The Roots of Names, 2012 (co-translator) coming soon

Ever Burning Light, The Book of Combinations, 2012 (co-translator) coming soon

Despite the lame names, these are actually awesome books full of Jewish demons, spells, spirits and curses! Working on these dusty old tomes had proved to be a major source of inspiration for both my games and my fiction.

Fiction:
Murderous Rat, Tales from an Israeli Storyteller, 2015
My first self-published work. Was great fun to write. Hope it's also fun to read.

The Red Phone Box: A Darkly Magical Story Cycle, 2012
A very awesome story cycle to which I had the honor of contributing a couple of semi- autobiographical stories. Warren Ellis is also among the contributors so... AWESOME!

Library of the Living Dead, Malicious Deviance, "A Wife From Hell," 2010
A story about a bad husband, a good wife and the devil. Guess who survives in the end?

Blood Bound Books, D.O.A. - Extreme Horror Collection, "Daddy," 2010
This is the darkest, vilest, sickest story I've ever written. Everything that's dark in my soul went into creating it. Your probably shouldn't read it.

Necrotic Tissue #12, Siberian Escape, 2010
A 100-word (count 'em!) retelling of a horrible Russian urban legend. This one is not based on a true story. At least, I hope it's not based on a true story...

Brain Harvest, "A Woman Made of Gold," 2010
Another very short story. This time about the dangers of materialism not tempered with spirituality.

Bull Spec #2, "The Sad Story of the Naga," 2010
My story about Christ, Christianity, paganism and a sad naga with a quest. My first pro fiction sale and, in my opinion, one of the best stories I'd ever written.

Strange Publications, Fifty-Two Stitches, "Eulogy for Jimmy," 2010
My first fiction publication. Poor Jimmy...

RPB

I don't ordinarily use this blog for self-promotion (although you should really read my stuff, it's awesome), but for reasons that will become apparent after reading, this RPB story is highly appropriate for the blog.

Wait! You don't know what RPB is? All the more reason to take a look... ;)

99% of random encounters start with a red phone box, didn't you know?