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Monday, October 10, 2011

Munchkin's Paradise

I have posted this on my dA before, but thought you fine gamers could enjoy it too as an, eh, commentary on the new generation of gamers :)

Munchkin's Paradise
As I walk through some poorly generated terrain
I take a look at my sheet
And realize there's nothing left.
'Cause I've been blasting and casting so long
That even NPCs think that my mind has gone.
But I ain't never crossed an NPC that didn't deserve it.
Me be treated like a low-le'el char, you know that's unheard of.
You betta' watch your Diplomacy rolls,
And the auras you're emanating
Or you and your minions might be stroke off the encounter list.
I really hate to roll initiative but I gotta hack,
As they croak, I hear myself in the rollin' dice.
Newb, I'm the kind of PC that young gamers wanna be like,
On my knees in the night
Reading the monster manual in the street light.

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.

Look at this dungeon, they got me crawling,
I can't play a normal character, I was raised by world of Warcraft.
So I gotta be down with the power players,
Too much cheating in Diablo, got me chasing dreams.
I'm a bored teenager with XP on my mind
Got my d20 in my hand and thick spectacles on my eyes.
I'm a washed out munchkin, set vorpal war sword
And my cohorts are down so don't provoke my OOP.
Newb, a new character ain't nothing but a die roll away,
I'm going for level 20, do or die, what can I say?
It's session three now, will I ever live to see session four?
The way this encounter is going, I don't know.

Tell me why are we,
so blind to see
That the ones we roll,
are ain't good PC
Tell me why are we,
so blind to see
That the ones we roll,
are ain't good PC

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.

XP and level-up, level-up and XP
Die roll after die roll, 20 after 20
Everybody's rollin', but half of them ain't readin
What's written in da book, but I don't know what we're playin'
They say I gotta make new chars
But nobody's here to teach me.
If they can't understand this edition, how can they improve me?
I guess they can't,
I guess they won't,
I guess they front,
That's why I know this character just won't work, newb!

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a munchkin's paradise.

Tell me why are we,
so blind to see
That the ones we roll,
are ain't good PC
Tell me why are we,
so blind to see
That the ones we roll,
are ain't good PC.

1 comment:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ1XF8-Pzj8

    Had to have this playing in the background.
    ~Bhin

    ReplyDelete